I think I’ve mentioned before that teenage boys stink. The stench that wafts into the house when John has friends over is almost unbearable. Some of them just smell like boy, which is gross. But others, smell like rotten flesh.
I’m not kidding. It’s disgusting.
I think it has to do with nature. Mom’s are biologically predisposed to spoiling their sons. We never want them to stop being the little boys who will cuddle and love us unconditionally. We have a near-instant dislike to any girls that try to steal their hearts.
That is, until they start to smell. John smells so bad sometimes that I mentally count off the days until he moves out. His soccer shoes and bag are not allowed in the car, they have to ride in the trunk. The bathroom he and Taryn use gets so gross that I just pour bleach in the sink, toilet, and tub and just leave it sit for an hour. I’d rather breathe in bleach than his stench.
Once they stink, we mom’s are more than ready to pawn them off on an unsuspecting roommate or significant other.
It’s the natural order of things.
Also the natural odor.
Tonight at dinner Jackson figured out when the stench problem begins.
Jackson: I don’t love John. I only love Sissy.
Me: Yes, you do. You love John.
Jackson: No, I don’t because he stinks. He’s a boy and he stinks.
Me: You’re a boy. Do you stink.
Jackson: No, I’m widdle.
Me: Little boys don’t stink?
Jackson: No, only big boys stink. Widdle boys don’t stink.
Me: When do you start to stink? What age?
Jackson: I don’t know. SIX!
Me: So, next year you’re going to start to stink?
Jackson: Yes. Yes…CAN SOMEBODY TICKLE ME!!?!?!
Now you know. Feel free to send me bottles of bleach and Lysol as a thank you.
Well my oldest at the ripe old age of 8 has started to wear deodorant just this year because he came home smelling like onions! ONIONS! *sigh* I’m right there with your girly. Three boys that will eventually stink us out of our own home. Maybe we can go somewhere and cry in our wine together?
Yes! As long as it is not anywhere near the stinky boys!
Mine are girls, should we try for a boy next year? This post got me thinking… hmmm…
Nope, stick with 2 girls and you’ve got it made!
I feel for you that you will be doubling your olfactory displeasure in just a few short years!
I’ll also be doubling my wine intake.
yikes. I knew it was going to get worse, but this does not bode well…
No, you might want to think about alternate housing for the boys-at least for the teen years.
When I have Noah AND another boy in the car I die. I am NOT looking forward to this getting worse. He hasn’t even hit puberty yet!!!!
You’ll know when he hits puberty, by the stench.
Having taught middle school for most of my career, I am so grateful that I have no sense of smell. I always felt sorry for our counselors. They had to deal with the delicate issue of B.O. and the stories they would tell cracked me up. One year we had an autistic child who liked to point out the stench! Oh my. Keeping a straight face while telling him that it is not polite to tell someone that they smell like his dog is difficult.
I didn’t even think about the poor teachers!! What a nightmare!!
Jackson has a point, although I didn’t know tickling closed an argument. My 7yr thumb sucker has rancid breath and the 4yr old smells like a homeless person because he’s always pissing his pants – he’s a little advanced in the smell stage. Thanks for brightening up my future prospects.
You’re welcome, any time.
My son is 9, I’ll better be prepared then. I’m buying bleach and lysol tomorrow!
There is really no way to prepare for how stinky they get-seriously.
My boys are 20 months and they already stink. Especially as we’ve had a week of poo explosions. What the hell am I to do when they hit their teenage years ??!
Move out.
—My boys are older and they STILL STINKKKK !!!
So it doesn’t go away? Frick on a stick.
WAH, no chicken in that WHOLE conversation?!? I’m so disappointed!
Shhh…don’t say chicken…I think he forgot about it!
Now this makes me happy I have girls.
You’re welcome.
Although, boys don’t get periods. If I wrote about that adventure Taryn would kill me in my sleep.
A friend posted this site about “boy’s bathrooms.” Sounds like a lot of work, but if the stench is bad enough, it might be worth a try. http://www.askannamoseley.com/2012/02/getting-rid-of-that-boy-smell-in.html