Another easy list this week. Thanks to my sweet friend Jessica at My Time As Mom for asking us to list 10 things we are not good at. I might have to ask Stasha the list maestro if I can do 20 or maybe even 30…
10 Things I Suck At
10. Directions - I’ve mentioned before that I am directionally challenged. Seriously. If the directions to your house are “3rd left, 4th right, 2nd left, go East for 3/4 mile and turn left on the unnamed road.” We can’t be friends. I’ll never get there. I’ll be on the side of a road somewhere crying and sweating and calling Dallas and screaming at him. (Because it’s always his fault when I’m lost.)
9. Parenting - John wore shorts to an all-day-outdoor-event yesterday. It was 24 degrees and snowing. Jackson wants to go shopping all the time. At The BUTTCHEEK store.
8. Talking On The Phone - I hate it. I never answer. I don’t return calls. Unless it’s Dallas calling (and only if he is away from home) I’m thinking of something else. Plus my ear gets all hot – I hate that.
7. Car Care - I’m currently 500 miles late for an oil change. I can’t blame the deployment, even when Dallas is here I take care of the oil changes and maintenance on my van. I just suck at it.
6. Dog Care - The big kids feed the dog. If they’re gone, she usually doesn’t get fed. Lucky for her the twinkies throw enough food on the ground to sustain her through their occasional absences.
5. Gardening - Dallas likes to garden. I do not. I don’t like getting dirt under my fingernails. I’m not being facetious, I really hate when there is soil under my nails. I didn’t even know there were rules about planting things together, timing, spacing, depth…I thought you just threw the seeds on the ground and hoped for the best. Dallas always plants a garden, then leaves or either works so much that I have to manage it. Guess what’s not happening in our yard this summer?
4. The Internet - If it weren’t for Theglamb0t this blog never would have happened. Even if it had happened it wouldn’t look or function at all. I tried to do some things on my own and was politely asked to stop – because I suck at it.
3. Making Money - To date I’ve made $9.00 on this blog. Whatever. I’m a stay-at-home-mom. I don’t care if Dallas makes all the money. I made four people so guess what? I win.
2. Push-Ups - I could maybe do the girl ones, but only under duress. Besides, if I work my pecs too much I’ll wind up looking like Tori Spelling. Don’t be gross.
It sounds like I suck at lots of things. To make myself feel better I’m going to do a list of things I am good at. Here’s a hint: numbers 1-10 have something to do with wine.
What do you suck at?