Another easy list this week. Thanks to my sweet friend Jessica at My Time As Mom for asking us to list 10 things we are not good at. I might have to ask Stasha the list maestro if I can do 20 or maybe even 30…
10 Things I Suck At
10. Directions - I’ve mentioned before that I am directionally challenged. Seriously. If the directions to your house are “3rd left, 4th right, 2nd left, go East for 3/4 mile and turn left on the unnamed road.” We can’t be friends. I’ll never get there. I’ll be on the side of a road somewhere crying and sweating and calling Dallas and screaming at him. (Because it’s always his fault when I’m lost.)
9. Parenting - John wore shorts to an all-day-outdoor-event yesterday. It was 24 degrees and snowing. Jackson wants to go shopping all the time. At The BUTTCHEEK store.
Oops.
8. Talking On The Phone - I hate it. I never answer. I don’t return calls. Unless it’s Dallas calling (and only if he is away from home) I’m thinking of something else. Plus my ear gets all hot – I hate that.
7. Car Care - I’m currently 500 miles late for an oil change. I can’t blame the deployment, even when Dallas is here I take care of the oil changes and maintenance on my van. I just suck at it.
6. Dog Care - The big kids feed the dog. If they’re gone, she usually doesn’t get fed. Lucky for her the twinkies throw enough food on the ground to sustain her through their occasional absences.
5. Gardening - Dallas likes to garden. I do not. I don’t like getting dirt under my fingernails. I’m not being facetious, I really hate when there is soil under my nails. I didn’t even know there were rules about planting things together, timing, spacing, depth…I thought you just threw the seeds on the ground and hoped for the best. Dallas always plants a garden, then leaves or either works so much that I have to manage it. Guess what’s not happening in our yard this summer?
4. The Internet - If it weren’t for Theglamb0t this blog never would have happened. Even if it had happened it wouldn’t look or function at all. I tried to do some things on my own and was politely asked to stop – because I suck at it.
3. Making Money - To date I’ve made $9.00 on this blog. Whatever. I’m a stay-at-home-mom. I don’t care if Dallas makes all the money. I made four people so guess what? I win.
2. Push-Ups - I could maybe do the girl ones, but only under duress. Besides, if I work my pecs too much I’ll wind up looking like Tori Spelling. Don’t be gross.
1. Crafts - Duh. Exhibit A. Exhibit B.
It sounds like I suck at lots of things. To make myself feel better I’m going to do a list of things I am good at. Here’s a hint: numbers 1-10 have something to do with wine.
What do you suck at?
Dude, WTF is wring with her chest in this picture?
Everything.
Did her implants sunk?! Wow…
Anyhow, talking on the phone: check. And I am so glad you mentioned the hot ear phenomenon! True that.
Also I don’t think you suck at parenting, you just empower free thinkers. But you do suck at making money. Trust me, takes one to know one!
I’m so glad I’m not the only one who has a hot ear!
Hot ear! Ditto!
Throwing seeds on the ground and hoping for the best, do have merits! Hahahaha!
Do we garden the same way?
Great list! I’m also extremely directionally challenged. And I suck at the internet and gardening too…although I keep hoping to get better at both. Someday.
I’d be glad to get better at the internet. But I think gardening and internet are lost forever.
I suck at car things too. And crafts. It’s my dreaded C word. Urgh.
Also? I can get lost in a mall car park. Go figure.
I get lost in the mall. I never know which way I was going when I come out of a store.
As long as you are lost in Tiffany’s it is ll good…
I totally suck at the whole direction thing too…if anyone says North West East or South I’m like no wait…just tell me left or right.It totally exasperates B.
I can’t do N, E, S, W either. It makes Dal crazy too!
Damn! I have to schedule an oil change! Your blog is really helping me focus on the important things in life!
You’re welcome.
holy crap…I may be rubbish at crafts, directions, and parenting….but I am suddenly very in love with my breasts.
so yeah, thank you for that
You just cracked me up! Me too, I love my breasts now!
I like mine more when I see hers!
Sometimes I really suck at being funny, I say something hilarious only to find out that no one gets it..
I don’t care, I laugh anyway..In my fantasy life I’m a stand up comedian.
People say I’m funny – you give me some craft skills and I’ll give you some funny
I suck at car maintenence, too. I’m way more than 500 miles past my scheduled oil change.
I got it done today. Maybe I need to blog about car maintenance more often:)
The carrots are creepy and the implants are creepy! Ugh. I don’t think parenting should be on your list. 2 out of 4 are doing pretty good. That is a 50% approval rate. The president to date has an average of 49%. You win. Now, crafts are number 1? Lame. Well put on your big girl panties and suck it up because guess what we are doing next week, crafts!
I’m not participating this time!
You can come and hide out in my house! Don’t let Brooke lure you with wine!
Then again, you could make loads of money selling mutant vegetables. Call it “The Vegetarian Vampire” or “Frankenlegume” or “Thing Bean” – seriously, I could do this all day. Another great list!
Carrotasaurous.
i hate the phone.
and i like Tori but her chest is not appealing.
Not even a little appealing.
I’m right there with you on #8 – not a big fan of the phone – and #3… sigh. I’m just not good at marketing myself, which was never my intention when I began this whole blogging ‘business’.
Mine either…but isn’t that what everyone else is doing?
Ditto with you on being computer clueless. As you can see, I have a WP blog, but am still unable to get a stupid picture to show up when I comment. I’m a mess, but it’s nice to have some company!
We can be a mess together:)
Wait. What is going on with Tori Spelling? How did THAT happen? Why? We have a lot in common. I’m no good at any of that stuff, except maybe Internet stuff…I’m learning.
Learning is good. I should try to do that.
You crack me up. I hate talking on the phone, so glad I’m not alone on that. your anti crafting had me laughing so hard I couldn’t breathe.
Good. My plan is to make readers stop breathing.
Did enjoy the list Bridget, but honestly, I couldn’t take my eyes off of that pic of Tory Spelling…that hole is horrifying! And you know what, 2 sets of twins, you definitely win!
I do win because of the twins and the non-hole hooters.
~~~~Haaa,
We have lots in common. I NEVER read directions, thus, I never know what the hell I’m doing. I NEVER answer the phone, cuz people annoy me. & The only craft I can do is WRITE!
Ps. what is that hole in Tory S. Chest? OMG.
If writing is a craft then I do lots of it!
Ah ha ha ha. Aw, you don’t suck at it, you just break shit every time.
I also hate talking on the phone. I’ve been meaning to change my voicemail to just: “Are you kidding?”
That’s the best voicemail ever!
…seriously don’t touch it.
Seriously. I won’t.
Eww…. I could have gone my whole life without seeing that picture. LOL Also glad to know as I go through reading other people’s posts that I am not the ONLY one that doesn’t like to talk on the phone!
I think we all agree on the phone thing!
Not a fan of the phone, either. That picture of Tori Spelling makes me feel a lot better about mine, especially since gravity has started to take over.
#8 all the way! Cannot stand the phone. No phone calls please.
I promise not to ever call you!!
[...] all, and I don’t want to disappear from this community, so I found a cute blog idea over at Bridget’s from Twinisms, who got the idea from Jessica at My Time as [...]
Bridget- you so do not suck at parenting.
I’m too bad at crafts and making money online.
Gad, you crack me up ! I have never seen a photo of Tori’s boobs that don’t look like “that”. What was she thinking ?
I hear ya on the directions thing. I cry, get all flustered and blame it on my husband too !
I would be horrible at car care if my mechanic husband didn’t bitch at me to get the oil changed. Nothing worse than hearing him nag….
I am also bad at car care! My care is about 1000 overdue for an oil change and I’m not sure when I’ll get it in. :/
Ok. That pic of Tori is scaring me. I can’t even look at it again. Anyway, yah. Gardening is def not my cup of coffee (not tea) either. They either drown or dry up. Plants don’t like me.