The vasectomy topic comes up often in conversations with other moms. Most of us think the men should get it done, but our husbands are usually nervous. Since my husband was brave enough to get snipped I’m obviously the voice of reason on the topic.

The first question most men have is, does it hurt? In the case of my husband, I don’t know. Nor do I care. You know what hurts? Having a baby.

It can’t have hurt that much, they did it in the office. In the office, while I waited in the lobby with two four-month-old babies. That’s nothing. It’s like a tetanus shot.

In the penis.

I don’t remember if he was sore after the procedure. We had infant twins, I’m pretty sure I threw him an ice pack and a baby and said, “walk it off.”

I do know this, he said the worst part of the procedure was having to put his feet up in the stirrups. I have no sympathy for him. These heels have seen more stirrups (not connected to a trusty steed) than I care to count. It’s good for him to see things from my perspective. (That is flat on your back, knees in the air, staring at the top of some doctors head.)

He also said the most embarrassing part was turning in the sample. He had to take in a sample a few times in the year after the procedure to make sure there weren’t any swimmers getting through. Since it had to be “fresh” he had to go to the lab, to a special door, and give them a codeword so they knew to deal with it immediately. It was always a female who grabbed the sample cup by their fingertips, held it as far away as possible, and marched it to the technician. I don’t blame them for being grossed out, it had to be fresh. They knew what he just finished doing.

No, I did not help with any of these activities. Not in my job description.

My beloved did get some flack for it at work, but he didn’t mind. He’s very secure in his masculinity. (Or completely broken of any feelings of masculinity. Either way, I don’t care.) Besides, I have babies two at a time. He’s not a masochist.

It’s been about 5 years since the vasectomy. I’ve never given it another thought. I’m fairly certain my husband hasn’t either. I can’t be sure though, I try not to ask about his feelings. We haven’t had any more twins, so it was worth all of his discomfort. I’m sure of it.

The only person who was truly bothered by his vasectomy was my mother-in-law.

I guess she wanted him to keep his options open.