The vasectomy topic comes up often in conversations with other moms. Most of us think the men should get it done, but our husbands are usually nervous. Since my husband was brave enough to get snipped I’m obviously the voice of reason on the topic.
The first question most men have is, does it hurt? In the case of my husband, I don’t know. Nor do I care. You know what hurts? Having a baby.
It can’t have hurt that much, they did it in the office. In the office, while I waited in the lobby with two four-month-old babies. That’s nothing. It’s like a tetanus shot.
In the penis.
I don’t remember if he was sore after the procedure. We had infant twins, I’m pretty sure I threw him an ice pack and a baby and said, “walk it off.”
I do know this, he said the worst part of the procedure was having to put his feet up in the stirrups. I have no sympathy for him. These heels have seen more stirrups (not connected to a trusty steed) than I care to count. It’s good for him to see things from my perspective. (That is flat on your back, knees in the air, staring at the top of some doctors head.)
He also said the most embarrassing part was turning in the sample. He had to take in a sample a few times in the year after the procedure to make sure there weren’t any swimmers getting through. Since it had to be “fresh” he had to go to the lab, to a special door, and give them a codeword so they knew to deal with it immediately. It was always a female who grabbed the sample cup by their fingertips, held it as far away as possible, and marched it to the technician. I don’t blame them for being grossed out, it had to be fresh. They knew what he just finished doing.
No, I did not help with any of these activities. Not in my job description.
My beloved did get some flack for it at work, but he didn’t mind. He’s very secure in his masculinity. (Or completely broken of any feelings of masculinity. Either way, I don’t care.) Besides, I have babies two at a time. He’s not a masochist.
It’s been about 5 years since the vasectomy. I’ve never given it another thought. I’m fairly certain my husband hasn’t either. I can’t be sure though, I try not to ask about his feelings. We haven’t had any more twins, so it was worth all of his discomfort. I’m sure of it.
The only person who was truly bothered by his vasectomy was my mother-in-law.
I guess she wanted him to keep his options open.
I find it hysterical that your MIL was bothered by his vasectomy. Love tossing him an ice bad & a baby & telling him to walk it off!
You had me at ice bag and a baby.
. I’ve brought up the vasectomy too. I figured, I carried twins, it’s his turn to contribute.
I totally remember sitting in the waiting room switching off nursing the twins and trying to wrangle a two year old. I’m pretty sure I threw a baby or two at him and just nodded and smiled when he talked about how sore he was the first couple of days! And the day he took his ‘speciment’ to the window the lady wrinkles up her face in disgust and says, “We only take those on Tuesday’s and Thursday’s!” Ha ha ha…I laughed so hard!
Another post to ponder upon. See, I am learning so much from you!
I was kind of scared when I read the title of this post… wondering what the hell you’d gotten up to… glad it was so benign. Dallas sounds like a stand up guy! Also, my standard answer from now on whenever anyone complains about being in pain will be “you know what hurts? having a baby.”
Funny my ex husband said the same thing about the stirrup thing and um my ex MIL was also just as upset.And I’m pretty sure I told him the same thing about the sample…not in my job description.
Bwahahahahahaha!!!
Mine just had one in November. Even though he went back with samples, I still get scared that, like, one would live. Otherwise, WHEW! Otherwise, I turn out babies like a factory, and I don’t think we can handle anymore. And yes, I wasn’t so sympathetic when he had it done, seeing as though I was pregnant for almost 2 years straight with 3 babies and had to lie in bed for almost 6 weeks waiting for a c-section to heal.
So freaking funny. And true. We’re not sure we’re done yet, but I will have exactly one minute of sympathy for him. I bet anything that my MIL would freak out, so we’ll probably not be sharing that bit of info with her.
Your hubby is awesome. Mother-in-laws are generally not. Mine trained my husband well enough that he shares her feelings…
hahahaaha!!!!!!!!! i am sharing this!!!!
So, I guess he didn’t need the Vagina ice pack? Just kidding – no disrespect. Your man’s The Man for doing that.
I *heart* you Bridget!! We are having the “Vasectomy debate” … I forwarded this to the Hubs.
My husband had this wonderful procedure. I learned all about the artist Wyland while waiting in the waiting room. Wyland has a large mural painting downtown Anchorage. I smile everytime I see it.
I’m sitting at the hairdresser’s reading this post and laughing my ass off! It’s not often they get the opportunity to see/feel pain from our perspective. Not often we get to tell them to “Suck it up…”
A guy I used to know had an interesting perspective… said he was all in favor of the vasectomy. Said if his wife ever fooled around, he’d know that any pregnancies certainly weren’t his. Then laughed and said that the reverse was true too, if HE fooled around, there’d be no “results” to pay for. Not exactly a trusting marriage, but true nonetheless!!
I’m with you on this one, After 3 difficult pregnancies,giving birth 3 times and ppd, I have no sympathy whatsoever.
The icepack and the baby…bwahahahaha!
I think I speak for the dudes when I say:
owwwww…..
Craig didn’t need any convincing either. He would have severed his own vas deferens with rusty scissors and tied them off himself to prevent another Hank. (Which would also hurt less than having a baby.)
“you know what hurts? Having a baby….love it & will use it repeatedly I’m sure. Very entertaining blog!
I traded a vasectomy for a new computer….stupid me…the computer is now dead….and they are still disconnected.
I’m going to file this post with the research I’m doing in support of my husband getting The Snip. I was convinced at No More Babies Being Expelled From My Vagina, but he’s a little fixated on the short term view. Loved this post – soooo funny!
Oh Mah Gah. I do not even have words for how awesome this is. I love you so much right now.
This is hilarious! That’s pretty much my only comment on the whole thing!
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So very funny. I feel a tad guilty saying that – I’ve only birthed one child – but then I remember the pregnancy, the painful delivery, the exclusive nursing of a child with reflux, and so on…. and I get over it.
Thanks for linking up with the #BestOfTheBlogosphere this month!
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