This week Stasha and Miss Marina Star are asking us all to admit our guilty pleasures. I think you all know about my fetish for wine, People Magazine, and The Real Housewives – so I won’t rehash it. Instead I’m going to talk about soccer. Again.
Both Taryn and John are playing on their high school soccer teams right now. If I’m not watching a game I’m waiting to watch one. Or waiting for practice to end. Or purchasing soccer gear. Or trying to get the sweaty soccer player stench out of my house.
It’s great fun. I’m sure all soccer mom’s can relate. If not, here’s your chance to understand us.
You Know You’re A Soccer Mom When…
10. You breathe a sigh of relief when your child only gets a yellow card.
9. There are at least three games on the DVR at all times and you don’t recognize any of the teams.
8. Carpooling to games resembles a Benetton Ad.
7. You allow your children to kick the ball around in the house as long as they don’t hit the walls.
6. You’ve watched soccer in temperatures ranging from 20 degrees to 100 degrees.
5. You’ve watched indoor soccer sitting on bleachers, with six lanes of a track in between you and the field, while a track meet was going on.
4. There are always extra boxes of baking soda on hand for de-stinking shin guards and shoes.
3. You don’t flinch when your child shoves another child on the field. It’s allowed.
2. You hear your 15-year-old son on the phone saying, “I got some good head” and don’t bat an eye.
1. You understand the Offside Rule