This week Stasha asked us to take our show on the road. Between weekend trips, vacations, and moving – we’ve been on the road a lot. Here’s what we’ve learned.
On The Road With Twinisms
10. No matter how you configure the big kids/little kids or seat belts/car seats, someone will always be crying over getting hit, poked, hair pulled, or looked at in the wrong way.
9. Driving from Texas to Georgia while 20 weeks pregnant with twins is quite possibly the worst idea ever. Ever.
8. When you walk into an airport with two 13-year-olds, two 3-year-olds in strollers, 10 pieces of luggage, 8 carry-ons, and one dog – everyone will say a silent prayer that you are not on their flight.
7. No matter how early you arrive at the airport, when you travel with the above-mentioned crew you will wind up running to your gate minutes before takeoff.
6. If the van smells rotten, check the stow-and-go area for curdled milk.
5. When purchasing a new minivan, get the built-in TV screens. You can talk all you want about kids needing to entertain themselves without the help of electronics, but on the first long ride – you’ll regret it.
4. Never leave crayons on fabric seats in the sun.
3. If your butt keeps getting hot, keep an eye on your husband. He might be turning the seat warmer on (in July) and then turning it off when he sees you shifting in the chair. Try to figure it out before you’ve been on the road for eight hours.
2. Don’t kid yourself into making a ‘no food in the car’ rule.
1. It’s not a family vacation unless someone is projectile vomiting!
You must have had a camera in our vehicle on our last trip back to Fairbanks from Anchorage! That list described it perfectlly…right down to the projectile vomiting.
My secret is out!
Amen!! Specially to #2. How the mighty have fallen. I have even chopped up a steak for mine once. Kid, not the dog
It happens to the best of us.
Traveling with kids… I just figured my kids were exceptionally bad. So this feels better.
I think mine are too, maybe it’s both of us:)
Oh, I’ve tried #2 – never works! And I know about #4 – I’ve also had a lot of candy grossly melt in the car.
I’ve had candy melt too. Gross. Kids are gross.
Ha, ha! That’s why we rent cars now – let National clean it up. Speaking of seat warmers, I’d like to get one for our toilet.
I’d like that too. And one that cleans itself automatically because my boys have no aim.
HAHAHA! I love the “check van for curdled milk” and projectile vomiting – all of it. Very funny!
Thanks, it’s funny because it’s true!
Im nearly hyperventilating at the thought of putting JUST myself on the plane. I can not begin to comprehend what you just described. Mercy!
It was the worst day. Ever.
#1.. oh yes, been there. our last trip, it was my son on the way up AND the way back. I wish I could still say afterward that the minivan has never been cleaner….but yeah, learned the crayon thing the hard way too.
We all learn those lessons the hard way.
ROFL, too funny. Your husband is an evil genius. I’ll have to keep that trick in mind.
I have to admit, it was pretty funny:)
Awesome list. Road trips aren’t epic until vomit is involved—nothing like cruising at 60 mph on the highway with the van door hanging open. Also, even if we don’t have twins, when other families see us pull our crap into an airport terminal, you can see the fear in their eyes—it’s primal. Erin
I kind of like it. It makes them fear me a little. I wish I could get my kids to look at me like that.
Dear Lord. #8. Wow. I think your life might make a good reality show. I mean that as a compliment (big fan of reality shows).
Thanks, I’ll take it as one.
wow. WOW. i think my hair just got more gray reading this.
That’s why I have the best hairdresser ever.
I can totally relate to this…other than the fact that I do not have twins….
great list!
Thanks and you’re lucky!
Bah! We have a rotten smell right now. Haven’t found the source yet… We bought the van with Navigation instead of the TV screens and I’m kicking myself all over the place. I even tried to talk my husband into trading it in for the one with the screens. And, Dear Lord, we haven’t tried a flight yet. Bless your heart.
At least if you were lost you could tune the children out with a movie. Dumb move.
Ha! You’re hubby sounds like a hoot! LOL Anything to make the drive more interesting!
He’s hysterical. When he’s not annoying.
Love it….brings back so many memories…Number 1 is the one you can count on!!
Vomit follows us everywhere.
Oh, my gosh, yes! Projectile vomiting — unfortunately, I’ve sooo been there. Yuck. You just end up feeling bad for EVERYONE involved.
Hilarious list!
Thanks. I don’t feel bad for everyone. Mostly me – if anyone vomits in my presence I vomit.
I don’t know how you did a road trip while pregnant with twins! I don’t even want to do it now! And I still have a no food rule… holding out as long as possible!
I cried a lot. Mostly because I couldn’t sit comfortably or drink wine.
It definitely sounds like it would be an adventure traveling with your family! I think I like the sound of the poking and getting looked at wrong a lot better than the projectile vomiting.
Agreed.
My husband is always messing with my seat warmer. I’m still trying how to get him back for it.
When he’s taking a shower dump a cup of cold water over the top of the curtain on his head.
Haha ! These are hilarious ! I only have one set of twins and the other passengers are already saying a silent prayer that we don’t sit next to them when boarding a plane. As for crayons left on fabric seats in the sun…yikes !
Get on the plane with messy hair and immediately order vodka, that will really scare them.
This is so funny. I hope I do not ever run into a two set of twins in a flight *praying hard*.
I hope I don’t either. Even if I’m related to them.
We just had the longest weekend and #10 is spot on. I salute all the SAHMs in the whole wide universe, for 5-days I vacillated between utter bliss and sheer madness with my 4 and 2-year olds. And come to think of it you have 4! You are just simply amazing friend.
My husband and I are flying across the country this summer with two one-year-olds and two five-year -olds. I am pretty sure everyone on the flight is going to hate us, including ourselves.
yeah, that electronics thing – i bark at the kids about how they are so hooked on their various porta-screens but then when they put the damn things away? I want to pull a Romney and wire the damn kids to the roof of the car. Family vacation does absolutely connote projectile puke, stinky feet/hair/seats/food, crumbs everywhere, and a general sense of living in the Talking Heads song with the chorus that says “this is not my beautiful life…”
I try to avoid road trips at all costs…and I just have 2. They tend to make me imagine jumping out of the the car window and how that pain would be less than the pain I’m feeling sitting in the vehicle with them.
The car sick gods have never made it to me. I’m counting my lucky highway miles for that!