I could end this post with that one word, but I won’t. I’m too much of a narcissist. But it’s true, love has everything to do with just about everything. Today was Dallas’ and my wedding anniversary. He’s on the other side of the planet. We didn’t get to talk, but we got to chat over the internet – so I’m not complaining. Something is always better than nothing.
All day long I’ve been thinking about us. The highs and the lows. In the nearly 10 years we’ve been together we’ve seen our share of both. I love him completely. Even when I hate him – which can be all-consuming. Seriously.
Love isn’t easy, at least not in the long run. Marriage is hard. Marriage, jobs, kids, buying houses, moving, dealing with in-laws and friends, managing money…it’s all hard. Harder than any single person could ever imagine.
Introducing your family to your beloved is easy. Coping with the intricacies of relationships with in-laws is hard.
Deciding on a job is easy. Deciding if that job is worth uprooting your family is hard.
Earning money is easy. Deciding how to spend that money is hard.
Having a baby is easy. Raising one is hard.
Disciplining children is easy. Coming to an agreement on the best way to discipline them, based on your separate childhood experiences is hard.
Marriage is impossible.
It is, it’s impossible. But lots of us do it, every day we choose to stay married. Lots of others choose to walk away. Perhaps the going gets too rough. I get that, but sometimes I think they just don’t try hard enough. Married people are working. Almost every second of every day they’re working to stay together.
Maybe that’s why so many people get divorced, they don’t want to try so hard every day. Dating is fun. It’s supposed to be fun. You’re supposed to spend every second with or thinking about being with the person who melts your heart. They’re perfect and you want to tell the whole world about the awesome person you’ve found.
Hold on to that.
Because one day when your boss is being mean. The kids are making you crazy. The car needs $1,200 worth of repairs. The dog puked on the carpet. And you’re exhausted. You’ll get into bed and that person next to you will be breathing so loud you’ll want to shake the ever-living-shit out of them.
But instead, you’ll remember dating. And fun. And how awesome you thought they were.
And instead of strangling him, you’ll go to sleep.
And try again tomorrow. Because marriage is worth it.
Happy Anniversary, Dallas. Thanks for making me not want to strangle you most nights.