Dallas left 141 days ago. That’s 3,384 hours. 203,040 minutes. 12,182,400 seconds. It’s a long time. One of the perks of being married is having someone you think is cute sleeping in your bed every night. Among other things.
Since he’s been gone I’ve alternately fawned over actors, (thank you, John Cusack for all The Raven previews) singers, (thanks Adam Levine for making The Voice my new favorite show), and athletes (even though you’re old news – you’ll always have a place in my heart, David Beckham).
As a rule, I only fantasize about unreachable men. It seems fair and within the bounds of marriage vows. (Just agree.)
But this past weekend, I may have crossed the line.
My friend Sara (whose husband is deployed with Dallas) and I met for lunch Sunday afternoon. The big kids had a youth group thing so it was just me, Reese, Jackson, Sara, and her 17-month-old son Lucas. (I’m sure we looked super-hot and desirable.)
Our waiter, Mike, was the perfect eye-candy for our deprived little lives. He was cute. Really cute. He looked a little like Peeta from The Hunger Games – only hotter. He was also a very nice and attentive waiter.
I know because Lucas “dropped” his fork on the floor at least 16 times. Each time, Mike jogged to our table, bent over, and picked it up. Sara and I made sure Lucas had a steady supply of flatware.
We tried to figure out his back story. He was young, like too-young-to-shave-every-day young. He was wearing a ring on his left ring finger, but it didn’t look like a wedding ring. He also had remnants of a hand stamp on his left hand, probably from clubbing Saturday night. He was wearing a friendship bracelet, weird – also indicative of being quite young. Luckily we didn’t fixate on his back story too much.
We were too busy admiring his face.
Every time he walked past our table I stopped talking and completely lost my train of thought. Sara didn’t even have to turn around to know that he was behind her.
We giggled like school girls. (Slutty school girls, since we had three kids with us, but still – like school girls)
At one point Mike asked, “Can I grab anything else for you ladies?”
We said no thanks. But as soon as he walked away Sara said, “I can think of a couple of things…”
I can think of some too…141 days is a long time.
When the bill came we lingered. We drank more water. We let Lucas drop a few more forks.
We tipped big. Really big. That’s how Cougars roll.
R & R can’t come soon enough. (Neither can I.)