Saying goodbye is never fun. In this Army life, it’s something I have to do often. Over the years I’ve said “see you soon” to lots of close friends. Women (and a few men) who I’ve had great times with and had grown to love like siblings. I’ve been lucky to have a lot of really close friends. I try to be a good friend to people because I know the payoff – having good friends. It sounds cliché, but in order to have a friend you really do have to be one.

Here in Alaska I have great friends. Some of the very best women I’ve ever known. Strong, smart, courageous, kind, loyal.  We’re very close. But even with our closeness, I’ve held out using the term “best friend.” As much as I love these girls, I’ve always thought a “best friend” is someone who has known you forever. Someone who knows your family, knows the place you came from, and loves you anyway.

I’m changing my own rules.

The friend you’ve all gotten to know the most, Christin is a best friend. Even though she’s only met my mother once. She’s never smelled the distinct scent of the Gulf of Mexico and moth balls that marks my hometown Port Charlotte, Florida. She’s never guzzled Lonz Wine with me at Middle Bass Island. She has no idea what my pre-twins/plastic surgery body or my natural hair color looks like. Even though we’ve known each other less than two short years, she’s my best friend.

And today she moved away.

And I’m really, really sad.

The first time I met Christin I didn’t like her very much. She’s young. She’s smart, pretty, and thin. What’s not to hate about her? I was pretty sure we would never be friends. But, one day we were volunteering at the Squadron and I said something stupid. (I don’t remember what it was because I say a lot of stupid things.) She laughed. I liked her more right then. I’m a huge fan of people who laugh at my jokes. Shortly after that she had a coffee at her house and we got to know each other a little more. Sometime after that I asked her to go running with me. At that time I couldn’t even run a mile without passing out. She should have ditched me on the first run.

But she didn’t. We kept running. Walking when I needed to. And talking. A lot. Those runs were the beginning of an incredible friendship. Soon we weren’t just running together. We were having coffee, texting snarky messages all day long, telling each other our stories, and finding out how much we had in common.

Our kids became friends. She and her husband Dan became cool Aunts and Uncles to Taryn and John. Christin helped me shop for clothes for Taryn. She and Dan watched John play soccer. We spent endless hours at each other’s houses. Dinners, coffee, cookies, wine. Lots of cookies. Lots of wine.

And today she moved away.

And I’m really, really sad.

I know we’ll always be best friends. Once I have my hooks in someone, I don’t give up easily. But, I also know it won’t ever be the same. Eventually, if we’re lucky we’ll wind up in the same city again. Until then we’ll have to settle for weekend visits or Raymond/Rainey family vacations. But I’ll miss having her here. I’ll miss seeing her kids grow up and hearing my kids say “Miss Christin is coming over!”

As sad as I am that she’s gone, I won’t ever regret the time we’ve had together. We laughed a lot. A lot, a lot. We cried, complained, whined, vented, gossiped, and then laughed some more. I wouldn’t change one minute of it.

Most importantly my friendship with Christin taught me this; a best friend really isn’t the person who knows every dirty detail and loves you anyway. A best friend is a person who encourages you when you’re weak. Someone who can make you laugh when it’s the last thing you think you can do. Who stands by you, even when you might be wrong and who is strong enough and confident enough in your love for them to say, you might be. A best friend is someone whose presence makes your heart happy, no matter how far away they live.

Thank you Christin, for making my heart happy.

Now text me something funny so I’ll stop crying.