I’m doing something I’ve never done this weekend. I’m chaperoning an overnight soccer trip. John’s club team is competing in the State Soccer Cup tournament. Five days. Lots of stinky teenage boys.

Because this is Alaska the boys on our “team” are from all over the state. The tournament is held three hours from Anchorage in the city of Kenai. For those of you familiar with the term “city” – scratch that image from your head. It’s an Alaskan city so it has a Wal-Mart, a McDonald’s, fabulous scenery – and not much else. I’m lucky enough to be staying with the team manager and her family at a lovely house on the lake.

It definitely does not suck.

Our day began with an airport pick-up of two players from Juneau. I’d never met them, but John had played with them in the last tournament. I also had another boy from the team and the twinkies.

One minivan.

Two 5-year-olds.

Four 15-year-olds.

Me.

Three hours.

Riding in a car for that long with teenage boys brings up lots of important life-altering discussions. For example:

“Who would win in a fight? Mario or Luigi?”

“Which white rappers do you like?”

“How old is Yoda?”

“What’s Yoda’s last name?”

“Do you like this song? How about this one? Or this one? You have to YouTube them to hear the end.”

“Soccersoccersoccersoccersoccersoccer…”

Also, lots of sleeping. Not for me of course, I was busy trying not to get lost. I failed. But I did get a lovely tour of the area. And wise advice on directions from 15-year-old boys.

As soon as we arrived our host, Holly ushered the boys toward the awaiting dinner. Then she offered me a beer.

This chaperoning gig isn’t going to be too bad.