Not the movie, my life. These days that includes riding in a car with a teenage boy at the wheel. It’s rough stuff. When Taryn first started driving I was a nervous wreck, with John I’m just frustrated. He is, surprisingly, a nervous driver. In most other aspects of life he is supremely over-confident.
This is the same kid who has been known to say, “I don’t have a girlfriend. I have three” and “don’t hate me ’cause you ain’t me.”
When we drive, the conversation is different.
“John, put it in reverse and back out, just be careful not to hit the car port – like I did…ohmygodJohn! You have to give it at least a little gas. We’re never going to get there.”
“Mom. Mom, I think there’s something wrong with the truck.”
“No, the truck’s fine, you just have it in park.”
“Oh, haha just kidding!”
This might be my favorite:
“Seriously John! You have to stay in your lane! You’re going to kill both of us.”
“Yeah, it’s hard not to drive in the middle because of Mario Kart.”
Or when I nearly had a heart attack:
“Mom, are you like, allowed to change lanes when the road curves?”
“Yes, if it’s clear and the line is dash-OHMYGODAREYOUTRYONGTOKILLUS!!!”
“Sorry, I thought that wall was closer than it was. Ha, just kidding?”
Of course, John always gets even with me:
“John. John, the speed limit is 45! You’re going 30.”
“Should I speed up?”
“Yes, you have to go with the flow of traffic. Other cars are going to start honking and flipping us off.”
(three minutes pass)
“Seriously, John speed up! Geez, you drive slow enough to Drive Miss Daisy.”
“Who’s Miss Daisy?”
On the upside, he’s cute.