Earlier this week I read an article smugly titled, “Your iPad Is Not A Babysitter.” I knew before reading the first sentence that it would be annoying. I expected it to be written by some smug parent (or worse, non-parent) who felt it was their place to judge other parents. I loathe parents like that. I mean, I totally judge other parents, but mostly I keep that crap to myself or in gossip sessions with my friends. That’s where it belongs.
I understand what this guy is getting at. Kids spend too much time staring at screens. (Not just kids, me too.) I get it, he’s probably right. Although, I’d venture to guess that once in a while, when he works late – his wife lets his kids play with the iPad instead of entertaining them every second. I bet every dinner isn’t filled with music and clever questions from adorable children.
I bet, once in a while they act like monsters. Their cute little heads spin around, Exorcist style and they stomp and scream over not getting to play with the iPad. I bet there are time-outs. They might be sent to the room. And I bet…I bet every once in a while, they get the iPad. Because once in a while Mom and Dad are tired. Once in a while they want to make dinner and listen to music and drink a glass of wine and talk to each other instead of their children. And sometimes, when their bodies are tired and their heads ache from the stress of the day the iPad is a saving grace.
But those are just guesses.
Here’s where he made me angry.
That four-hour car ride with two children? There was no DVD player, laptop, iAnything, and we all survived just fine. Enjoyed it, even. The same Etch-a-Sketches, books, dolls, toy cars, action figures or even songs and human conversation we all appreciated while growing up? They still work just fine — for family road trips or any other situation where you may be tempted to just slip the kid an iPhone and be done with it.
The family road trips we all enjoyed? I remember those. The destination was great, the getting there was miserable. Crammed in the back of a minivan, fighting for space with my sister. Carrying a backpack that contained 17 CD’s (hoping they wouldn’t get scratched) and 12 AA batteries, praying it would be enough. I might have packed a book along with my Tiger Beat magazine and a deck of cards that immediately got flicked in my face by my big sister.
Good times indeed.
No. No, I’m sorry, that doesn’t make any sense. It’s 2012. If you have an iPad, tablet, portable whatever why would you pack a car load of toys when you can pack just the device? You could take three iPads for the weight of one Etch-a-Sketch. There’s an app for that, it’s free.
Books are heavy and get torn up easily, especially on long car rides. I love real books, but you can take piles of books on the tablet and maybe five in the actual car.
Songs? Don’t even get me started. My entire collection of music is on my phone. That’s why Reese and Jackson know every word to Brass Monkey and Cheeseburger In Paradise. the iPhone has made for well-rounded children. Do you know what Taryn and John knew at this age? The Blue’s Clue’s mail song. It made me want to stab myself in the eye.
Dolls, action figures, toys. Yes, bring some of those because in a four-hour road trip they will get bored – even with a fully loaded iPad. But you don’t need to wear all the clothes you need for your trip so you can fill the trunk with toys. The iPad covers most of it. If you choose to load your car down with toys, even though gas is nearly $4/gallon – that’s on you.
But don’t judge the rest of us for taking the path of less resistance. When traveling with children there is absolutely, positively, nothing wrong with taking the path of least resistance.
Don’t judge me for not owning an iAnything, having a smartphone in the house, or letting my kids watch TV or play with computers, and I won’t judge you for drinking boxed wine, owning an iPhone, and parenting in your own way. ‘Kay? Still friends?
In all seriousness, you know my opinion on screen time for kids. (Although I don’t know if I’ve shared /why/ I have that opinion.) But I’m not at all judgemental when it comes to the way my friends do things. And I really try not to be judgemental at all.
However, as I think I said in my post on the topic last week, I find it hard not to judge when I hear people say that the ONLY way to stop a 15-month-old from crying in the car is to put in a portable DVD player.
But, five year olds playing an iPad for a few hours while travelling? Even if I was so inclined, I don’t know what there is to be judgemental about.
I have three kids. And I learned that kids are different.
My oldest kids have done fine with out any digital stuff in the car. But the little one kept screaming. She hated the car seat and being strapped in. (She still does three years later.) Nothing helped. A car ride was screaming all the way there. Then I discovered that she stopped crying as soon as I turned on the radio. I don’t have a dvd in the car, but I’m guessing that would have helped as well. Just to say, I always shared your opinion, but my kid changed that for me.
That actually supports my opinion, Mirjam, in that either a DVD player or a radio would have worked. Thus, a DVD player isn’t the ONLY way to stop a baby crying.
You’re so right about kids all being different. (My two are like chalk and cheese in just about every way.) And also that you never know someone else’s circumstances. If you’re sick, then I totally get using screens as a way to survive. It’s a smart move. And there are certainly times when I don’t stick strictly to my “no screen time” rule, such as letting my 5-year old watch pretty much as much TV as he wanted when he was in hospital with pnuemonia. (If I’d owned an iPad, I would have been all over letting him use it!)
I used to feel the same as that guy but then I realized that technolgy is their world. This and probably much much more is in their future, so you might as well let them get a head start. As far as I’m concerned you are way ahead of the curve.
I think it is part of being of our generation that we kinda think that digital devises are wrong. After all we did fine without them. But yes, it is part of their world. I’m pretty sure that if we had all of it available when we were young, we would have used it.
I have always tried to limit their use of screens, but then I got sick. And screens have saved my day many times.
Screw them. I remember the tv nazis when my boys were babies (they came before any tablets were around). That 30 minutes of Baby Einstein was the only chance i had to sit down and do NOTHING, or something that did not involve feeding, changing, soothing a baby. Sometimes it was 60 minutes. When I had the flu, it was on a loop. We have an iPad, iPod, computers, and yes, my kids love them. It is the first choice of what they want to do a lot of the time. It doesn’t mean they always get it, and they do play sports and ride bikes and all that too. Car trips are about survival- most likely theirs’ after 50 miles. My only concern about letting them have a screen the whole way of our 1000 mile trek each summer is that the batteries will die or I’ll lose the power cord.
the nice thing about having a radio in the car is you can turn it up and drown out the childern with their tape players and head phones on sing at the top of their lungs !!!! long car trips for any one is hard so any thing that get the job done is fine with me ! / speaking fron years of of driving ///
Wow he would really hate me for using an adapter to hook up the wii for my boys on our 14 hour beach trip. In my defense, we did drive through the night so they did sleep too! My teen girls preferred iPhone music and sleep. We had plenty of family time while on vacation. We say survive the travel and enjoy the vacation destination!
Girl, I’m with you. Why do people feel the need to tell other parents how much better they could be raising their children if they did it the way the know-it-all does it? And why is it that the “old” way of doing things is always better in their eyes? For me, childhood road trips involved being trapped in a car with windows rolled up and both parents smoking like a chimney while my brother and I fought and climbed over seats and never had ANY car entertainment. Nope, I think the saftey seat and a DVD is a much better choice for my kids.
I hate it (one of my biggest pet peeves) when I see a parent hand a toddler an iPhone to play with. That drives me nuts! However, I’m not against kids having technology to amuse them on car trips. Because I, too, remember how miserable getting to the destination was. God, it was awful.
But for 10 minutes in a doctor’s waiting room, please don’t give your 2 year old your $500 phone. (No wonder our kids don’t value things the way we did…praying the cds didn’t get scratched because we knew we wouldn’t be buying any more!)
Amen sister
Steve is hot. If I wasn’t married…..yeah.
I’m with you. We overuse technology babysitters. I don’t feel one bit bad.
This guy sounds like a Droid and Tablet user to me. I got four words for him, “Get With The Program.” Don’t you hate when idiots get under your skin?
Amen!! I wish these things existed when my kids were little! I remember replaying Disney videos (yes videos) umpteen times just to be able to get things done around the house, or just to be able to pee in solitude.I don’t care what anyone says, parents have been finding creative ways to entertain kids, to give themselves a little peace, since time began. Without those distractions, I doubt some kids would’ve made it to be adults. :’) It’s the people who aren’t parenting more than one child, alone or with a deployed spouse, while managing a home, multiple demands and responsibilities and possibly a full time job as well, that seem to think they know what’s best for everyone. Technology is here to stay, best to use it wisely and creatively. I find the ianything preferable to TV nowadays. At least you can load educational and fun apps that teach different lessons and skills rather than the violence on TV. Their world revolves around the technology now. Whether we like it or not. I say it’s best to get them comfortable in it, as well as teaching moderation and appreciation of these gadgets.
NEARLY $4 a gallon? Where the fuck do you live, Alaska? Oh wait…my sister used to require the DVD player to go to CVS, three minutes away. That’s stupid. We’ve never had anything but the alphabet game to be honest with you, and sometimes that lasts a long time when you get distracted by the music and stupid people in other cars and stories about dumb people, but then again we don’t own an iPad (WHAT?!?!) or an in-car DVD player (HUH?!) and we get car-sick reading while traveling. And if we’re traveling far, it’s sometimes with Noah and sometimes his cousin or a friend comes too. Where am I going with this? I totally respect the digital age and children HOWEVER, some people overuse it and others do fine without it at all. I think that guy was being too judgmental. You can’t speak for society as a whole until you’ve walked in all of our shoes, so get out there and buy a lot of socks, because I need new shoes and I’m afraid to tell my husband because he’s cheap (did I just get off topic?).
I Love your honesty
))))
I despise others who JUDGE. Xxx
I would have given ANYTHING to have the digital diversions when we traveled with kids. The fighting, boredom, singing, crying, etc…could all have been avoided. I have seen what having these toys does to keep the car peaceful. I say…go with it!! I would have used it when you were young.
Good luck to him and his “non-iAnything” family.
He needs to be reminded of the saying, “Those who throw stones in glass houses”