Yes, I said that. I know this is going to be an unpopular post. As always, I don’t care.
I’m sure most of you are familiar with the video circulating of LaCrosse, WI news anchor Jennifer Livingston calling out a viewer for ”calling her fat.” If you haven’t seen it, here it is.
I viewed it a few days ago and was immediately bothered by it. I do not think that she was being bullied. In fact, I think that in this situation her actions may have made her the bully.
This is the content of the email:
It’s unusual that I see your morning show, but I did so for a very short time today. I was surprised indeed to witness that your physical condition hasn’t improved for many years. Surely you don’t consider yourself a suitable example for this community’s young people, girls in particular. Obesity is one of the worst choices a person can make and one of the most dangerous habits to maintain. I leave you this note hoping that you’ll reconsider your responsibility as a local public personality to present and promote a healthy lifestyle.
Nowhere in that email does the viewer call her names. He never called her fat. It seems to me that he tries to make a point without using cruel words. He also sent her a private email. He did not take to Facebook, Twitter, or message boards and attack her appearance. He did not stand outside the studio with a sign that read, “fat people are bad role models!”
Those would be the actions of a bully.
Instead, he wrote her a private email asking her to consider the impact she, as a public figure in the community, is having on other young girls.
There are lots of arguments to be made here.
Is her weight any of the his business? No.
Does he, a person who does not personally know Jennifer Livingston, have any business writing her about her weight? No.
Is obesity “one of the worst choices a person can make and one of the most dangerous habits to maintain? Probably not.
But it’s up there.
Does Jennifer Livingston admit that she is obese? Yes.
Obesity is a problem. Look around, lots of people are overweight. It is unhealthy. It is costly for everyone. Childhood obesity has been a problem in the United States for years. No matter how much we try to encourage physical activity and healthy eating it seems to get worse year after year.
I do think that public figures have a responsibility to their audience. Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears get called out all the time for their poor choices and the examples they set for young girls. New Jersey Governor Christ Christie has had his obesity brought up as a poor example. Just like Lindsey and Britney are bad examples, so is Chris Christie.
Perhaps, so is Jennifer Livingston.
My problem though is not with her weight. Until recently I had not heard of her. It probably would have remained that way until she and her husband chose to call out the writer of this email.
She shared it with her colleagues.
Her husband posted it on Facebook.
She called him out on her own broadcast.
She called him a bully. She called him cruel. She implied that he sits at home and refers to her as the, “fat news lady.” She implied that he was a bad parent.
I wonder if it occurred to her to first respond to that email. To ask this gentleman privately the questions she was “so brave” to ask him on air. I wonder if it occurred to her that perhaps he wasn’t a bully. Perhaps, he really did think he was helping her. Perhaps, he was overweight himself and was trying to save her from the pain he had gone through.
She didn’t. She attacked him, a private person who made a poor choice, publicly. As you’ll see, Kenneth Krause had to hide out for days after she went public. When the media tracked him down – on his way to work his midnight shift – he admitted that he too was once overweight and he apologized.
Could Jennifer Livingston have responded to the email, then talked about it on air? Could she have worked with her so-called bully to find a solution, to make him understand how he made her feel? Maybe, she would have found out he had been bullied too. Maybe the two of them could have presented both sides of the bullying issue. On air.
She chose to call him out. To embarrass him publicly, even though he had interacted with her privately. She never asked if he was sorry. She never told him how his words made her feel.
Instead she took to Facebook and attacked him.
Like a bully.
This is an interesting perspective I didn’t even think about. While I do think his email was mean, rude, and out of line, I agree that she could have set a better example in her response. Why is it that we as human beings feel that we can talk to each other like this at all? It’s incredibly sad.
I agree with you 100%, Bridget. i saw the video of Jennifer calling him out when it was posted on Facebook a few days ago, and chose not to comment, like, or share it. Because when I watched it, I thought that she was the one out of line.
I totally agree. He may have made her feel bad in private, but she called him names in public and humiliated him in front of his friends and the community (and world) at large.
I had not heard this story, but I have to agree with you, Bridget. It honestly sickens me that people feel that have the “right” to physically or verbally attack people that have wronged them in some way…I was taught that “two wrongs don’t make a right”. What happened to taking the high road or turning the other cheek?
Agree she could have handled it differently but he had NO reason to send her that email to begin with. She’s not setting a poor example because of her weight. I’m not overweight, but I don’t need some random stranger telling me that I’m a poor example because of the way I look. IMHO of course.
I agree that NO ONE should be attacked, but I am failing to see how this person attacked her to begin with though. It was a private and sensible communication. She shamed someone for “bullying” her when it didn’t happen in the first place. There are children that actually get bullied enough to the point of suicide. This is not even in the same ballpark.
As a television personality you are putting yourself on the line for public scrutiny and opinions. This person simply emailed her regarding her health. Please don’t tell me that we can’t even express concern about the scientific fact that being overweight is an unhealthy lifestyle.
Thank you! I agree with you 100%! I didn’t think the email was that of a bully. Like you said, he didn’t call her names nor did he threaten her. I was bothered by her reaction and the rest of the media world who jumped on her bandwagon. I wondered if I felt the same. I had never heard of her and was surprised there was a really overweight woman as a news anchor. She misused a term that is a serious issue today and that’s bully. It may have been a hurtful email but it was private. It was almost as if her husband did this to get her name out there because before now, Jennifer who?
So I saw the second video of the email writer (Which I hadn’t seen) and wow! Jennifer Livingston handled that all wrong! What does that teach our children? That going public on the attack is the right thing to do just because she had the means to do so? She put this guy’s life at risk. He did not do the same. She’s the real bully.
Thank-you for pointing out the other side to this story. I’d heard bits and pieces but had purposely NOT watched the video as I was uncomfortable (but couldn’t put words to why). I agree that she responding very inappropriatly. Thank-you!
I’ve thought about this, and I have to agree with you! While I don’t like what he said, as a media figure, you have to be able to handle criticism. He did it privately, so her response should have been private. I get sick of people playing the victim ALL the time for anytime someone hurts their feelings. She needs to grow up and put her big girl panties on.
Thanks for posting that perspective. Obviously she has also profited from his words. Also we seem to be in a culture where criticism is met with instant defensiveness instead of humbleness.
Amazing! When one of our news stations posted the “debacle” on facebook I responded that all this was going to do was bully the supposed bullier…the response the station sent me was to watch it. *sigh* It just goes to show that Wizards First Rule applies to most things…”People Are Stupid” (Sword of Truth series by Terry Goodkind) which in turn basically means people see what they want to see, hear what they want to hear and believe what they want to believe…people take what others say and don’t research it…yes, this is a generalization and not all people do this, but alas I find most do.
Bridget, wow…you really brought out the truth here. I was one who watched and posted the video. As an overweight person, I know how hurtful remarks can be. I have been the brunt of them,in public and private. I never realized that the email never contained the hurtful words. Reading the real email, I understand what he was trying to do. I would send a thank you if he sent that to me. I was wrong. Jennifer is the bully. I realize that many of us struggle trying to lose weight, but it is personal. A dear friend summed up how to live life in five simple words…..DON’T SAY WORDS THAT HURT (Joanie).
I am really glad you shared your opinon of this matter, because after seeing all of the media attention she has received from responding publicly to this private email. It really seems like she was just searching for 15 minutes of fame.
I completely agree. When I first saw the video I thought really, is that all he said? That’s not so bad. I kept waiting for her to say the part that was truly offensive, but the truth is nothing about his email was particularly offensive. I felt that he took the time to make sure he used respectful words to state his concerns and suggest the role model and health reasons for losing weight as opposed to simply saying she was a horrible person for being fat. I really thought her response took it too far, as well as the rest of the media’s response to her. I’m a bit appalled to hear other media calling her their hero. Really, a hero for completely publicly humiliating a concerned viewer who in no way asked to be put in the spotlight? I definitely agree that in this case she was the bully. I think perhaps she took all of the previous comments she’s heard as an overweight news anchor and used them all against this one concerned viewer, whether he deserved it or not. After watching the second video, which I haven’t seen circulating around at all, I really felt bad for the guy. He seems like a genuinely nice and polite guy who really did know where she was coming from as he had been obese himself. Somehow I doubt she’s going to take him up on his offer to help her get the weight off…
I hear you, but having been on both sides of the fence, it gets sickening. The first thing I pointed out was the man who took the time to call her out obviously had a personal problem (the self-hatred he felt when he looked at her — sorry, the therapist in me is itching to get out). I was right about that. I don’t want to get in the fat can be healthy, too, debate with you, but if I showed you my medical records, you’d see for yourself. I don’t agree with the amount of time and energy she spent “taking care of” this issue. I think her attack was neither well thought out or as impactful as people would like to intimate. What I do want to say is that people make judgments that are extraordinarily off base when they see someone who is overweight, and I agree with the fact that those people do need to be set straight or mind their business. My overall health (aside from the allergies) is quite good and so is that of my children. I intend for things to remain this way. The bottom line is people are rude, ingorant, and people make erroneous judgments and recommendations based on those erroneous judgments. (Do you think people are aware or care that I’m overweight because I had undiagnosed food allergies for almost 34 years or that I’ve lost 42 pounds since the problem was diagnosed and corrected? I assure you not.) I won’t write a book here (any more than I have already), but, yes, obesity is an issue, it just may not be an issue for whom (or why) you think.
This reminds me of an email that I got recently that was hurtful and suggested I was religiously intolerable. I sent back an email asking the sender if she meant to be so hurtful. She did not and apologized for her words. Jennifer should have responded back to Kenneth explaining her situation a little more. They could have even become friends as the got to know each other. I think that would have been a much better news story and example in the long run.
I think you make a great point here. The appropriate response to this email would have been to either ignore it or respond by email. Hell, she could have even used it to invite the guy on and have a meaningful discussion but instead, I agree with you, she acted like a bully.
I don’t think that the man set out with the intention of sounding like a bully, but he wrote to her about a subject that she is obviously sensitive about and that’s how she perceived the email. I think it was unnecessary for him to talk about her weight, she knows she’s overweight and it’s not his problem. Did she take this thing overboard? Probably, but she just wants to get the point across that words can hurt even when unintentional. No one wants to get an email or letter from a stranger saying that they aren’t good enough for their job, because of their appearance. He didn’t out right say that, but it’s implied.
I agree that Jennifer could have handled it differently but as a society I think we speak out far to often on what we think about other people. Is it any of his business why she is overweight.. NO, none at all. Should he feel comfotable writing her an email shaming her for being overweight, NO, none of his business. I think the thing about it is that when you are overweight you are very aware that people make snap judgements that you are unhealthy, unhappy, lazy etc etc. At the end of the day it is no ones business and we should not be shaming people for how they look or telling them how we think we should look. She should have handled it better and just responded to him directly, but on the other hand, he never should have sent the email.
I did not know of this and frankly it is one of million bazillion reasons I live in my bubble with no news allowed policy. But I agree with you 100%. Calling people out in public after they privately contact you is using the powers you have for a wrong cause. thumbs down for her, big time.
Also I have put on a lot of weight in a past few years. Yet I am still aware of what is healthy and what not and saying being overweight is OK because I am is absurd. It is like smokers saying ‘don’t bug me I know what I am doing’.
I am not sure what I think. I think both were extreme. Really, I do have a problem with his email, but her reaction was good in ways and not in ways.She could have responded different, but had better impact. But seriously, she got herself known round the world. So from a PR stance, she hit it.
i can honestly say that i didnt see any video, (i read this blog at work and sonicwall blocks videos on our computer)nor do i know anything about the email ….in fact who the hell is Jennifer Livingston????? all i have to say is who cares!!!! and i have to pee.
I read this yesterday from my phone and came back to comment. You did some impressive writing here, friend.
I watched the first video and sort of agreed with her, but after reading more I totally saw your point and I agree with you. She handled this totally wrong and felt attacked when she wasn’t. Though it was none of his business, he was not attacking her.
I wrote this, last friday, for Sprocket Ink
http://sprocketink.com/hey-bergers-sister-hes-just-not-that-into-you/
My post agrees with you. My wife and teen daughter yelled at me. They disagreed.
I get anywhere from 5 to 20 hate or anti-me emails/tweets/facebook comments/messages a day . Some people use wors like arrogant, narcisstic, unfunny (that hurts), small, psycho, loser, and asshole. I respond to some, and delete the others. that’s what should have happened here.
i Love Jennifer’s video from the context of responding to an a-hole commenter. But wrapping the “bully” flag around it is intellectually dishonest.
good post
Thank you, thank you. As a teacher, childhood obesity makes my blood boil. It is one of those bad things in this world that is COMPLETELY unnecessary.
Bullying can go up, down, and every which way. I appreciate the opinion you’ve voiced.
I’m with you all the way on this one. People who tell other people what to think are jerk-offs. And newsie jerk-offs are the worst. As William Shatner said, “I can’t get behind a fat ass…well, maybe I could.”
As always, my dear, I LOVE your perspective, which you are never afraid to put out there. I appreciate that in a woman.
but…
I disagree with you on this issue.
Perhaps “bully” was not the proper terminology for Livingston to use, but this man definitley is a judgemental, narrow minded creepy hurtful dude.
I am pleased she used this platform. She spoke for the “voiceless” when she confronted Krause and others like him.
Words Hurt. Words transform your self worth.
Bullies come in all diquises & I consider Mr. Krause a bully.
Livingston is NOT a bully. She is a woman defending herself and others against idiots like this Mr. K.
Thank you for your view, Bridget. Xxx still love ya.
Interesting, I would never have though there was another side to this story, thank you for bringing it to my attention. Aside from the weight issue, what I want to know is how they tracked him down. As far as I can remember his name was not mentioned in the original story. It worries me that if I have an opinion about something and I send a personal email with a view that is in opposition to what is popular, will I be stalked and have to “go into hiding” as well? I’ve been noticing examples of this kind of behavior by the media much more frequently these days. Private citizens (non celebrities) apparently have a much smaller expectation of privacy these days.
It’s weird. I live in Wisconsin, so I heard about this right away. When I initially watched the video, in the context of a ton of facebook “likes” from people I respect, I felt a little wonky about it. I didn’t feel that she came across as giving the guy an articulate, well-deserved smackdown, but rather that she was uncomfortable and nervous as she spoke, and that it was an entirely emotional response stemming from what is likely years of external and internal torment related to her weight. Having since read his email, I’m even more uncomfortable with how she responded, for the reasons you outlined in your post. The thing is, I think there are things in his email that were inappropriate, and had she processed it a little more rationally, she could have presented a response that might have actually been helpful. I take issue with his use of the words “habits” and “choices,” and I think she could have spoken to those points and actually done some good. Of course obesity can be the result of bad habits and choices, but there are times when it comes from legitimate medical conditions, medication side effects, emotional issues, and the like. The assumption that obesity is ALWAYS the result of habits and choices and the resulting stereotypes of obese people as lazy, dirty, unintelligent, or whatever are something that I think would have been worth speaking to. As another commenter said, it is possible to be healthy and overweight. Stereotypes and discrimination are just not cool, and the fact that fat hatred is the last socially acceptable form of discrimination is something that needs to be changed. I think she could have spoken to that point eloquently and done some good for all the overweight/obese girls and women in the world who don’t often see someone of their size in a high profile position. Flying off the handle, making the argument emotional, and mischaracterizing the tone of his comments did no good.
Thank you all for your thoughtful comments. I appreciate all of your opinions, even those who disagree with my assessment of this incident.
Damn, girl! Not shying away from the controversial, huh? Just one of the reasons I like you so much. I’m late to the party here, but I have to say, I never thought of it from this perspective. I think the guy who sent the email is a douche nozzle (Who sends crap like that to people? I mean, really.), but I can totally see your point. You know, I received some off the wall email from a parent of a student in my class this year, and man, would I have LOVED to point out how rude and off base she was. But I didn’t. Instead, I emailed her a professional response and never heard from her again. Maybe the reason I was so on Jennifer’s side at first was I was glad she was calling out a dickhole for what he is, something all of us have likely wanted to do at one point or another. But the fact that he communicated privately and she publicly, drawing more attention to herself and her circumstance than she ever would have received, does seem wackamole. Thanks for the shift in my brains