Six-year-old boys have an interesting vocabulary. I try to understand what they are saying, but I spend a lot of time just nodding in agreement because the words coming out of their mouths don’t make any sense. I realize nodding and agreeing with them is going to bite me in the arse one of these days. But, right now there are just too many words coming at me all day to bother trying to figure out their meaning.
Like today, Jackson yelled at me from the back of the minivan, “HEY MOM! Hey Mom, you know what?”
“Buttholes are awesome.”
What am I supposed to say to that? Yes? No? I mean, that would be lying wouldn’t it? Where would we all be without buttholes? The kid might be nonsensical, but he’s not incorrect.
He was helping take out the recyclables tonight and said, “hey Mom, see how I’ve got stuff in my stuff?”
“That’s nice, Jackson.”
“No. Look, I have stuff in this one and inside of this one and stuff in my other hand. I have lots of stuff in my stuff.”
I’ve got stuff in my stuff too, kid. But my stuff is red and made from grapes.
Yesterday, before dinner he came up to me and said, “WhatsfordinnercanIhavecandyI’mjustkidding. Can I have a cookieIwuvyoumommy.”
“I love you too.”
FYI, he asks what’s for dinner 17 times a day. I wish he could read better so I could just point to the menu on the refrigerator.
Lucky for me he isn’t cursing. Not much anyway. He and Reese recently started using the word friggin’. Once I told them it was a “bad word” they stopped. They seem to be pretty aware of which words are “bad.” At least aware enough not to say them in front of me.
I guess that’s why today when he and John were chasing each other around the house he got angry and yelled at his biggest brother, “John! I’m mad at you!”
His unconcerned brother replied, “Ok.”
Jackson said, “Well…I hate you…I hate you and all the bad words!”
At least he didn’t tell him to eff off, right?