Unless Beyonce-Gate refers to her magically having her most famous asset, her rear-end not her voice, removed I don’t care. I probably shouldn’t care about her arse either – but those of us with a little junk in the trunk need to stick together.
Despite having “All The Single Ladies” on my playlist, I don’t like Beyonce. The only thing larger than her arse, is her ego. This was evidenced by the evening gown she wore to sing (or lip sync) the National Anthem on Monday. Wasn’t it 30 degrees?
Kelly Clarkson wore this:
Maybe she didn’t have time to change between the Inauguration and the Inaugural Ball. But either way, as soon as I saw her I couldn’t pay attention to how well she was singing or if she was singing because I was too busy wondering why she was wearing an evening gown to an outdoor event in the middle of the day. (Official fashion police citation from a person wearing flannel pajama pants and a Guinness t-shirt. You’re welcome.)
That said, who cares what they wore, about FLOTUS bangs, or whether or not the song was sang live when our President said this:
“…Our journey is not complete until our wives, mothers and daughters can earn a living equal to their efforts. Our journey is not complete until our gay brothers and sisters are treated like anyone else under the law, for if we are truly created equal, then surely the love we commit to one another must be equal as well. Our journey is not complete until no citizen is forced to wait for hours to exercise the right to vote. Our journey is not complete until we find a better way to welcome the striving, hopeful immigrants who still see America as a land of opportunity, until bright young students and engineers are listed in our workforce rather than expelled from our country. Our journey is not complete until all our children, from the streets of Detroit, to the hills of Appalachia, to Newtown know that they are cared for, and cherished, and always safe from harm.”
I’m not a singer (unless karaoke to “Ice, Ice, Baby” counts) but I’m sure singing a song as difficult as The National Anthem, in that temperature, allegedly with a cold was not good for her vocal cords. At first I thought, if she was sick she should have given someone else the opportunity to sing the song. But there was probably a program and lots of security garbage, she was just inches from the most powerful people in the country after all. And Newt Gingrich.
She’s certainly not the first person to lip sync and she probably won’t be the last. At Obama’s first inauguration Yo Yo Ma mimed playing his cello because it was too cold and the strings would have snapped. It doesn’t make him less of a musician because what we heard was his music and him playing it. Just not at that moment.
Beyonce is a great singer, everyone knows that. I think the reason people get upset about lip syncing is the flood of “not real” music and musicians. Ashley Simpson got in trouble for lip syncing on SNL. Not a big offense, except she’s a terrible singer anyway. Kid Rock “sings” on some of his albums. But he’s not really singing, at least not in any tune that humans are capable of repeating. He sounds like one of those people with the electronic trach thing. Any Real Housewife who has an album is so auto-tuned that you might as well listen to The Chipmunks. (At least Chipmunks are cute.)
Do we need to go all the way back to Milli Vanilli? Girl, you know it’s true – they were faking it the whole time.
I’m tired of being faked out. If you’re going to lip sync, but you’re a real singer, that’s totally fine. If you have to be auto tuned just to make your voice detectable to human ears? Step aside and let someone with real chops have a shot.
Also, if Beyonce, Faith Hill, and Jennifer Hudson have to lip sync – can we just once have Kate McKinnon impersonating Ann Romney impersonating Beyonce sing it for us?