The answer, when it comes to kids and husbands is usually no. I expect my children to ignore most of what I say, but not my husband. When you get engaged lots of people give you advice. Some of it is even good advice. Communicate, don’t be needy, be patient, it’s hard – all good advice. No one ever tells you that the person you just vowed to spend the rest of your life with is only going to listen to about a third of what you say.
While on our romantic (if going to bed before 9 PM every night is your idea of romance) vacation in Hawaii, Dallas and I heard about a local military resort. We had already booked a hotel, but I asked Dallas if we should look into staying at the military resort instead. I said those exact words, “should we look at staying at the military resort instead?” He said, “Sure. They’ll probably be booked, but it’s worth a shot.” A few hours later I called and was able to book a cottage and cancel our previous reservation without incurring a fee. When I got off the phone he said, “Geez, I didn’t know you were going to do all that.” Then we got into an argument about a conversation he swears never happened.
I almost drowned him at the beach, but then I wouldn’t have anyone to bring me mai tai’s.
This weekend we are doing demo on the main bathroom, so it can be redone (by a professional – Dallas and I don’t work well together) next week. Two weeks ago I asked him if we should have people over for the Super Bowl or if it would be too much with the bathroom project. He said, “Sure, they can use the other bathroom. It’s a bunch of Army guys, they’re used to it.”
So I invited a few people over. Just like we talked about.
He has no recollection of that conversation. A few days ago we had to have a huge discussion about when we were going to do the demo and why we were having people over when the house was all torn up.
So I cancelled on our friends. When I told him I cancelled he was shocked and wanted to know why.
I told him it was so I wouldn’t murder him on Super Bowl Sunday.
This made my night (just as your blog usually does.) Partly because my night went like this:
I called my fiancé’ on his way home from work.
Me:Can you pick up cheddar cheese for dinner?
Fiance: Sure baby, what’s for dinner?
Me: Tacos
He gets home with no cheese.
Me: Hey, I’m going to the store to get cheese, do you need anything?
Fiance: What do we need cheese for?
Me: TACOS!
Fiance: Ok grumpy, you didn’t tell me.
And then they act like we’re crazy! Seriously, I know this reaction, like why are you so bent out of shape? So annoying!!
Girl, I sometimes have test conversations with The Mister and just say outrageous things while he responds on auto pilot just to see how long it takes for him to notice. It takes long.
I bet it takes hours for him to notice, it would take Dallas forever too.
Oh boy can I relate to this post!!!!
I think everyone can!
Oh yes, they are wired this way.
My husband dearest has this equally annoying-funny quirk, when I talked to him about something, I have to repeat and call his attention again and again but when he is not the one I am addressing or talking to, he answers!!!! What the!
Happens all the time!
Selective listening, I’m all too familiar with it!
All true stuff! It’s my #1 complaint to John. He hears half the stuff I say.
Half? That’s not too bad – it gets worse!
OMG I swear that goes on in our house all the time! Except my husband makes me feel even crazier, and says I never had that conversation with him. Then I try to figure out if I had that conversation in my head with him and forgot to actually talk to him.
They do that on purpose! They try to make us think we are crazy! I think it’s a class in man school!
Yup. That is the way it works here. And what makes it even worse (and makes me truly question my sanity) is the fact that he will swear he told me something when I know he didn’t. He will be all “I told you when you were doing dishes last night.” Um, no, you did not. You sat there staring at the tv and never said a word. …But then I question myself. Maybe he did say something and I just didn’t hear him since I do dishes by hand as we don’t have a dishwasher. I often have water running and when you combine that with the general noisyness of dish washing and the tv, he could have said something and I just literally could not hear him.
Bah.
My husband will say I never talk to him, I will say I do you just fall asleep. When I am really needing to talk to him and he does that I will wake him up. He will swear he was not sleeping and I will ask him to repeat what I said. Which of course he cannot.
Asking them to repeat what we said is a good trick!
My husband appears to be heavily tattooed but it’s really just memos and reminders. Once husbands say, “I do,” they mentally follow it with, “not recall…”
This made me laugh so much, Nami.
You are my funniest friend. Officially.
It is definitely a “guy” thing. We call it “gender selective hearing loss”. He only hears the things guys say but never what a woman says.
They hear it, they just choose to ignore it!
I can’t respond really, because I vowed to never say anything bad about Hot Joe. So I won’t. Does texting count?
Yes, feel free to text me all the nasty things you like.
So true! I once yelled at Dustin that I could only count on him to listen to half of what I say, half the time.
So that means he only hears about a fourth of what you say! Not good!
And *that* is why a device that can replay memories would be the best invention ever.
You could make a million dollars. Seriously.
The reason that women talk so much more than men is because we have to repeat EVERYTHING we say at least twice!
I’m going to remember that the next time I hear Dallas wining about how much women talk!
Oh Man! My husband keep saying he wants to retire but then he bought superbowl tickets and added a decade to that – but somehow is pissed at me (I’m not going). If we could read minds…
If we could read minds, we probably wouldn’t stay married long.
LOL! Start to text so there is evidence! <3
I’ve tried that, he swears he didn’t see them – even with proof of response!
Oh. The conversation in the car about the Military resort. Priceless. It did make Dan and I feel more normal. As in he doesn’t listen and I get frustrated. Seriously, how hard can it be?
Not hard at all. I’m so glad you knew he was being crazy – instead of me!
All. The. Time.
So. Annoying.
I have to tell Jerrold something 3 times. Literally. Not joking at all- 3 times before it penetrates his thick skull. I start at least a week ahead with anything important. Once, I marked it on a calendar, so I could prove he had been told the something important 3 times when he turned around and yelled at me for never mentioning it. There is nothing more likely to get him dropped in the big hole hole the f(*&^ dog is digging in the middle of my backyard. Hope you are back in GA before I need bail.
I warned you.
I get this. I totally get this. I miss those days when he used to hang on to every word I said when we were still courting. But then, he put it a ring on it…and a pair of ear muffs…