I hate when people complain about being busy. I hate it even more when being busy is my lame excuse. I realize with four kids and a husband who works pretty much constantly it is understandable but still, I hate the excuse. It’s just my job. The shopping, the cooking, the cleaning, keeping myself in check by going to the gym and have a few moments of social time, keeping the kids on track with school and sports, volunteering as much as possible in an effort to do my part and quell the guilt that comes with not having an income. My job requires lots of time juggling. I know some working moms say, “try to do all that after working 8 hours a day!” I do. All stay-at-home Moms do. We work all day and then all night too, until the kids are safely tucked in bed or (for the older ones) tucked in their rooms with headphones and Facebook.
But still, I’m not that busy. Neither are you. None of us are that busy.
Which is why I have not excuse for totally screwing the pooch in my Mom duties yesterday. Tuesday morning I was supposed to have coffee with my friend Billie. She’s PCS’ing (Permanent Change Of Station, Army for moving) next month so I’m trying to get in some time with her. I’m also trying to see if I can fit inside any of her furniture since they’re going to Italy and I’m jealous. Monday night I canceled. I just had too much to accomplish to take an hour out for coffee. Even with the extra hour I wasn’t sure I was going to get it all done. I had to go to the commissary (these kids insist on eating every single day), then back here to let in the bathroom repair man (we’re remodeling it) at 10, a delivery of new bathroom stuff would be around 12, and I had a parent-teacher conference at 1:30. That’s all on top of the normal laundry, cleaning, and food prep I do every day.
The day was going fine. I managed to be in the check out line at 9:30. Then my phone rang. “Hi this is Jackson’s teacher, are you still coming on the field trip today? I asked Jackson, he seems kind of bummed that you’re not here.”
Frick on a stick.
I was supposed to be there. I had told his teacher I would chaperone but more importantly, I had promised Jackson. The last field trip was months ago and I chaperoned for Reese’s class (the two Kindergarten classes do trips together) and he hadn’t forgotten. It was his turn. I had promised. I told her I would meet them at the museum. I checked out, dashed home, threw full bags of groceries in the refrigerator and freezer, then rushed to the museum.
I’m glad I went. Not that Jackson was happy to see me. I hugged him and said, “I’m sorry I’m late.” He said, “You’re late. It’s all your fault” and ran off with his friends. Secretly though, I know he was glad. Plus I got to hear 6-year-olds talk about dinosaurs. The instructor told them one dinosaur weighed as much as 15 full-grown elephants! One kid raised his hand and asked, “How many baby elephants does it weigh?” Comedy gold.
I kept my phone on vibrate, so I could head home when the delivery guys called. Because that’s what they do, they call a half hour before they come, especially if they are going to arrive early. Let’s say, more than two hours early. Unless you work for a big box store where I like to spend date night. Then you just show up whenever and leave a note on the door. That way when the customer rushes home to make the noon-ish delivery time she completely loses her mind and calls your supervisor. But they fix it and promise to be there soon. By soon, of course, you mean 12 minutes before she has to leave to get to a parent-teacher conference. And, of course, with the wrong merchandise so she has to go from the conference to the store to get it all figured out. It’s no problem, it’s not like I’m spending thousands of my dollars at their store or anything.
But we managed. We only have one working bathroom for six people. There’s a new vanity, sink, and other bathroom fixtures in my living room. The toilet and other bathroom sundries are in my bedroom. My floors are a lovely mix of drywall dust and sticky rock salt (stupid Alaska). And the kids are about to have a four-day weekend. That should make things easier.
But I made it to the field trip. After school Jackson hugged me and said, “thank you for coming to the museum today. I wuv you.”
Totally worth it.
And I thought my kids were the only ones who wanted to eat every day. They all do? I hate the one upmanship of busy, too. Seriously, we all have shit to do.
I think it’s all of them. Kids suck.
This. Post. Rocks!
Thanks! So do you!
So totally worth it!!
Absolutely, I’d do it all again!
“You’re late. It’s all your fault.” <<– I love how this small guy got it all figured out.
You are a great mom B!
Happy Hearts' Day!
xoxoxoxo
Happy Valentine’s Day to you too Ava!!
I am glad you did not fall on your way out..
(Okay, enough about me..)
Everything 6 year olds say is comedy gold, especially when they’re together on a field trip!
Way to go Bridget! Someone should hand out medals for those days..
Seriously Mirjam, as I was writing this I thought…at least I didn’t break my arm! Hope you are doing better!
All I read was that you forgot and my heart sunk. I’ve been there in other ways and it’s the worst feeling ever. I’m so glad you made it. I wuv you too.
It’s good to know I’m not alone, I felt like a jerk! I wuv you!
Glad you made it! I can’t tell you how many times I have forgotten the kids things only to be driving 80 to get there on time (sorry dad). It’s good to know that SAHMs deal with this too – I thought it was my cross to bear as a full time mom and always feel incredibly guilty around them (you) for not being there more often for my kids. SO – thanks for making me feel better. Seriously.
I forget stuff all the time. The big kids joke about how many times they ask me to do stuff before I actually get it done. But they’re 16, they’re pretty much raising themselves now.
Good post. My gripe is people who announce that they are “VERY busy.” Like their “busy” is as important as national defense, and my “busy” is chopped liver.
We all choose our “busy” level, to some extent, and our “busy” threshold and/or tolerance.
You, Bridget, have a built-in busy level [4 kids, husband, dog], the management of which should have NASA piling VERY HIGH monetary pleas at your feet for help with their rocket launches. And then you add a new bathroom.
People tell me that I’m “really busy,” but I feel that I’m about 80% busy right now. That suits me fine – it’s like being on vacation.
Have wine with your friend – not coffee.
Exactly! Busy is just busy, everyone is busy/tired/sore…drive on, it’s worth it! Also, if I had wine at 9 AM I’d be asleep by noon! Wait, that might be a good way to get a good nap.
there will never be enough time in a day to do everything. Take the time to visit friends and go to field trips. These make memories….
Their the most important things!
But that’s what you just did! You glorified being busy with your lists of everything you had to do. Are you appologizing for messing up and forgetting or are you trying to discuss the idea that people always say they’re busy? Because of you are doing the later, why are you listing and listing everything you had to do and bragging about how much you manage. I find that the more people brag about how much they have to manage, the less they actually do. I’m not saying that’s you- I’m just saying that’s how your post reads.
Really? I didn’t read it that way at all. There’s a huge difference between being busy and dealing with it and using it as an excuse or a crutch. I read the former, rather than the latter.
Thanks for having my back Tracy. You are awesomesauce. Seriously.
takes awesomesauce to recognize awesomesauce.
That wasn’t my intention. The post is about how all of us are busy, but we drive through and make the best of it and in the end it’s all worth it. I’m sorry you misunderstood.
I also have to say, just so I can sleep tonight, that this comment was a bit mean-spirited. Please try to be nice when you comment here. Otherwise I’ll just delete your comments. Thanks.
Sorry. I would’ve read this earlier but I was…busy. Nah, actually, I was sore. On a different note, good for you that you made Jackson’s field trip. Can’t miss those, I realized…