I knew when we moved to Alaska that there would be snow. Lots of snow. I knew it would be cold and dark. I took Geography in the eighth grade, so I thought I was prepared. The last two winters haven’t been that bad. They have almost been enjoyable.
Almost.
It’s pretty here in Alaska. Of course, it’s hard to see the sights when there are only six hours of daylight. Or when it’s too cold to go outside for any longer than it takes to get from the car to the liquor store.
As luck would have it this winter is abysmal. We have already had 81.4 inches of snow. Tonight they are predicting another 9-18 inches.
Seriously. How am I supposed to live like this?
Last weekend I went to a meeting for our church and they asked where we would like to see the church in 5 years. I kept thinking to myself, if I’m still here in five years…kill me. It took me 40 minutes to get home. It should have taken 20, but I kept getting stuck in the snow. On one hill I had to back up and move into the middle lane, then turn from there. It’s a good thing I only had one glass of wine or I would have wound up in the ditch getting eaten by ravens.
It’s not even good snowman-building snow.
I don’t know why anyone lives here. Seriously Alaskans, what are you trying to prove? I know you think you’re tough and “it’s different up here.” You aren’t, it isn’t.
Everyone thinks where they live is special. My husband is from Texas. They think they’re special. It’s bigger and better in Texas. No. My mother is from Boston, they all think they’re pretty special too. Aside from an irritating accent, they’re just like everyone else.
People in Alaska are the same as everyone from anywhere else. They’re just colder. Cold sucks. Snow sucks. Sorry to say, but I think Alaska sucks.
Cold, dark, and Sarah Palin? I think we need to give you back to the Russians. Just wait until I move back to the lower 48. Thanks.
