As you know, the stupid dog has been ill. We are now on week 4 of antibiotics. This past Wednesday, while she and I were running, she peed blood again. I decided there was something to the peeing blood and running thing.

Today I told the vet my theory. Maybe she has dried, clotted blood in her bladder and the running shakes it loose. That’s why she pees when we run. It’s really all about the running.

The vet looked at me like I had a third nipple growing out of my forehead.

Then she politely explained that it was possible, but not something she had ever heard of before. Ever. At least not in dogs. I think she was trying to make me feel better, as if this was a common problem in the woolly mammoth.

It’s probably what killed them off. Bloody clots and too many marathons.

It was time to take X-rays. Possibly an ultrasound. A culture of stupid dog’s urine. Maybe stronger antibiotics. Estimated cost, $300 and change.

Sigh…ok, do it.

I left, expecting a call in 45 minutes with the result.

An hour later I got this call instead. “Hi Ma’am this is Chester Valley Animal Clinic. Sadie is very anxious and stressed out. She is bearing her teeth and snapping at us. We have not been able to muzzle her to get the X-ray. Do you think you could come  in and try to calm her down.”

Only if you knock $100 off.

I left the twinkies with John, texted Dallas and went back. Dallas was on his way home so he met me there. Stupid dog has never been so happy to see us. We got the muzzle on. Then Dallas and one of the technicians had to lift her onto a table. She was put inside a V-shaped foam thing, on her back, legs up in the air. They needed to get a bladder sample. She was not happy about it.

I feel your pain sister.

Then Dallas had to carry her over to the X-ray table and hold her while they took the shot.

He’s a hero.

They made us keep her there for 45 minutes (or 10, something like that) until the vet could read the X-ray. Then the vet came around the corner and said, “OK, we can put her down now.”

“WHAT! Put her down? You haven’t even told us what was wrong!!!”

“Down from the table.”

Oh.

The X-ray revealed GOLF BALL SIZE bladder stones. The vet said it probably took years for them to develop.

That does not make up for the fact that the surgery is $1000.

$1000.

Frick on a stick.

We’re doing it. I didn’t really need to go to Vegas before the big deployment.

Stupid dog.

Of course we can’t do the surgery until Thursday. After Dallas leaves.

Double frick.

It happened. I’ve become one of those people who actually cares about the stupid dog. I do. I care. I can’t believe that we let her get sick. The results of her urinalysis came back today with too many bacteria to count and painful crystals.

I suck at life.

I knew she was sick. I knew she was peeing every thirty seconds. I knew that she was putting off a scent at the dog park. The male dogs were all over her.

I tried to convince myself it was because she is such a pretty girl.

I mean really, who wouldn’t love that face?

Maybe it was the aggressive beavers. She’s not much of a swimmer, but she’ll get into the lake at the dog park for a drink. Those beavers are nasty, disgusting animals. I bet the lake is diseased.

Either that or I’m the worst dog parent ever.

Not possible. Not the worst. I’ve seen Animal Cops.

I’m becoming one of those stupid people who will spend piles of money on the stupid dog. I’m already jammed up that the vet only gave me a week’s worth of pain meds for her. I have to call first thing in the morning.

She’s going to gain 10 pounds because I’m comforting her with food. It works for me, so I figure it will comfort her too.

I’ve lost my mind.

Stupid dog.