Posts Tagged ‘humor’

  1. Taryn’s Summer Of Awesome

    August 1, 2011 by Bridget

    I’m borrowing from my friend Jessica over at My Time As Mom. Her fabulous daughter takes over the blog occasionally. Great idea right? I thought so, that’s why I’m stealing it. The guest blogger, finally back from her summer of awesome and ready to share it with all of you, is Taryn!

    My summer was a blast! I was gone for six weeks and traveled to five different states. I left Alaska and went to New York, Florida, North Carolina, Tennessee, and Texas. I did all of this by myself because my brother decided to skip our yearly trip and play soccer all summer. Anyone who has a twin brother understands why I had no problem with this arrangement.

    I spent four days in New York City with my Grandma Diana. It was amazing, probably the best part of the entire trip. It was the first time I had been there I was really excited because I thought I might get to see a celebrity walking around, like one of the Real Housewives of New York City. I didn’t run into the Countess or Jill Zarin. I did get to meet Daniel Radcliffe (AKA Harry Potter). I was pretty excited about that. My Grandma Diana and I saw him (and some John Laroquette guy I’d never heard of) in How To Succeed In Business Without Really Trying. We also saw Wicked and went on a backstage tour. We saw the Statue of Liberty and the Empire State Building. I even got to play the big piano at F.A.O. Schwartz. On a scale of 1-10 I give it an 11.

    From New York I flew to Florida for summer camp. I was finally a senior camper! The best part is getting to say you are a senior. We do the same things every year, but each time you experience them with different people. Those people can make it or break it. This year, they made it and I had an excellent time.

    After two weeks my mom’s best friend Robyn picked me up and took me to Tampa. First stop, Chik-fil-A! In Tampa and I got to hang out with Robyn, mom’s other best friend Suzanne, and her almost-best-friends Stacy and Anthony. It was awesome. They totally spoiled me and took me to a water park, a blown glass exhibit, and a performance of Mamma Mia! I’m pretty sure they like me more than they like my mom. I don’t blame them, mom’s kind of high-strung.

    I got a really bad sunburn in Tampa, which I blame completely on the people who were “taking care” of me. I’ll have mom remind them about sunscreen next time.

    I left there and went to North Carolina to see my Great-Grandma Betty and Great-Grandpa Paul. I was there for the big Decoration Day. It sounds a little weird, but we cleaned up and decorated the graves of our relatives. It’s a big deal and I’m glad I got to go. I also met several cousins who were at least 40 years older than me. Grandma Betty took me to the hot springs. It totally cured my sunburn. Really, it’s like magic water.

    Did I mention that this whole time I didn’t have to put up with my twin brother?

    Summer of awesome.

    My Nana and Papa picked me up and took me to Tennessee. YEEHAWW!!! We went to Dollywood. TWICE. It was really fun. No Dolly Parton sighting though. I thought the weather would be like Alaska. Nice and cool…..nope. While I was there the heat index was in the 100’s It was ridiculous. I don’t know how people live in that weather.

    The next stop was the hottest place on the face of the earth, Texas.

    This part of the trip was a little bit more like home. My Aunt Autumn and Uncle David have two little girls. They are a lot like my little brothers! Aunt Autumn took me to a Katy Perry in concert. Oh yeah! It was great. I still can’t get over that I even got to go, nobody cool ever comes Alaska. Real convenient.

    I stayed in the blazing heat for a week and left with another huge sunburn, perfect.

    I am finally home. My brother isn’t even here to bother me and ask me a billion questions. I had a great summer and I am really grateful for everyone who made it possible. (geez it sounds like I am giving a Grammy speech or something) Anyway, thanks.

    See you next summer. Right? Sooner? Ok, that’s fine by me!

    Leave her some comments, she’ll love it!


  2. Pee & Chocolate

    July 31, 2011 by Bridget

    Taryn is (finally) on her way home from her North American Summer Tour. John went fishing with a friends’ family and won’t be back until  Tuesday. So this weekend it has just been me and the twinkies.

    When they’re not making me want to jab something sharp in my eye or mainline vodka, they’re very entertaining.

    A couple of snippets for you to enjoy.

    On Friday I baked some cookies to send down to Dallas. While I was busy in the kitchen the boys were doing their usual; running around the house, making a mess, pushing, shoving, and hitting. I was doing my best to ignore them.

    Jackson ran into the kitchen, panting and looking very concerned about life.

    “UMM MOMMY! Umm…my wiener was sticking straight up. Yeah it was sticking straight up so my pee didn’t go all the way in the toilet. But, Mommy it just went on the wall, that’s it. Just on the wall.”

    Great.

    We went to the playground on Saturday. On the walk there Jackson found a tennis ball. He said, “Mom, this belongs to nobody.” Seemed reasonable enough to me, so I let him keep it.

    (I did not throw it out in the field for them to chase after. Like dogs. I would never do that. Even if they wanted me to and I knew it would completely wear them out. Really…I didn’t.)

    Anyway, while I was watching Jackson perform feats of strength by going up and down the slide Reese was running around chasing the ball. He came over to me and said, “Mommy I found a bag and it had chocolate in it. I know’d that it was chocolate because I tasted it.”

    “Reese, you can’t eat things you find on the ground, you’re going to get sick.”

    “It wasn’t on the ground. It was in a BAG!”

    Whatever.

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