This is our first ever T-Ball season. Taryn and John never played, they started with machine pitched baseball when they were a couple of years older than the twinkies are right now. The boys are on the same team, the Brown Bears. They got to pick their own team name, I think they picked it because there is a brown bear on their ball caps. The entire league wears the same hats, so they’re not the only “bear” team.

Five-year-olds aren’t very creative.

They’re also not very good baseball players.

Sometimes when Jackson is playing a base he high-fives the runner. I’m pretty sure he spent an entire game giving the first base coach detailed information on why Big Mario is the best character in Mario Kart.

Reese used to spend all his time in the outfield rolling around in the grass. Now he only does it about half the time. He inherited Dallas’ large cranium, so he usually bats with the helmet sitting on top of his head instead of on his head.

The most important part is the post-game snack.

It’s been a fun season, they have a great coach. He is very patient. He must yell, “Throw it to first!” in his sleep. Lately they’ve actually started listening, if only he could get the first baseman to catch. It doesn’t really matter, since no score is kept. And no one ever gets out. Everybody bats, every inning.

There’s one real baseball rule the coach insists the kids stick to – tucking in their shirts. Jackson has an especially hard time with this rule. I think it’s because he’s too skinny for the shirt to stay tucked. Also because he’s a wild rule breaker. As we walked up to the field this week I noticed Jackson’s shirt was untucked. Usually I don’t notice and the coach has to tell him to tuck it in.

I told him to tuck in his shirt. That’s when I noticed his baseball pants were on backwards.

I dragged him back to the van and put him inside to switch his pants around. After I yanked off his shoes, he stood back and dropped trow.

He was free-balling it.

I said, “Umm…why aren’t you wearing underwear?”

“Because I don’t want to.”

“Jackson, you have to wear underwear!”

“Why?’

“Because. Because everyone wears underwear when they play baseball.”

“Why?”

“So no one can see…”

“See what? THIS?!”

“Oh geez…just put your pants on.”

After the game I asked Reese if he was wearing underwear. He told me he had to check. He peeked down his pants, looked up at me and said, “oops.”