Last week I watched a few minutes of Half Ton Mom on TLC. They said there are 2 million Americans that weigh more than 500 lbs. Yikes.

I get that we all struggle with our weight. I also know that most of us hold ourselves to a ridiculous standard set by airbrushed/anorexic celebrities. If you’ve had a few children and you’re human, it’s going to show. That’s ok.

But 2 million people weighing over 500 lbs.? WTF?

Of course, one trip around the commissary and I could easily see the problem

WTF Exhibit A

Why not just eat chicken wings? Why would you want chips that taste like chicken wings? They don’t, not that I tried them, but they don’t taste like chicken wings because…there’s no CHICKEN in them! That’s the key ingredient, chicken. These are chips with powdered tabasco substance on them. Puke.

WTF Exhibit B

Just in case you’re too lazy to chew. Again, why not just eat a blueberry muffin? Or better yet, eat a blueberry.

WTF Exhibit C

Can we just, please stop with the Spam? You know it’s gross, I know it’s gross. Save it for bomb shelters and hurricane preparedness. Thanks.

This is why we’re all fat.